Classic cars forum & vehicle restoration.

[Rick]

In the past we've had a thread or two on the subject of bodges, or botches as they should really be known, so it seems like high time to re-visit the subject. What classic botch-jobs have you come across with ref to old cars??

The guy who owned my first Spitfire throughout the 1970s, was known for being a bit on the tight side. Saying that, he regularly changed the oil in the Spit's engine. However rather than go to the needless expense of buying new oil, he'd collect used engine oil from his colleagues, run it through some nylons (probably s/h also..) and pop that into the 1296cc engine.

Next, not so much of a botch, more of being canny :- Our old neighbour used to own a Mk1 Consul. Rather than go to the expense of replacing the faded red stop/tail lenses on his car, he'd get the wrappers from boiled sweets (the red ones!) and stick them to the inside of the lenses. Job done.

The same Consul owner used to give his car regular re-paints with household gloss too.

RJ
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Rick (Admin. oldclassiccar.co.uk)
Various 1930s-1960s relics - Austin, Morris, Bedford, Dodge etc.

[D4B]

My grandfather used to own a dairy, and a fleet of Jowett Bradford vans as milkfloats........ when the tyres were worn right through, so that the inner tube was showing, he would cut up an old inner tube and lay that inside the tyre at least 3 thicknesses, and blow the good tube up inside this!!! On one occasion he is know to have used a hessian sack instead!!

On another milk van, he tried to fix a leaking radiator with eggs, but this was not successful, so he poured yellow paint in the radiator to see if that would seal it! This didn't work either, and ended up being sprayed around the engine bay, luckily the milkman concerned had several helpful customers who would provide much need water at several points every day on his rounds!!!

Not much hope for my restorations eh?

[Rick]

Again not so much a botch, as someone being inventive, but a year or three back I was admiring an A40 will unusually sound-looking sills. A former owner in the dim and distant, who was no doubt handy with a saw, had created two solid wood sills for his A40 and installed them. To look at you'd never have known...

RJ
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Rick (Admin. oldclassiccar.co.uk)
Various 1930s-1960s relics - Austin, Morris, Bedford, Dodge etc.

[riley541]

I've heard of a car which had rust concealed under layers of metallic tape covered by several coats of underseal - it may or may not be a Riley and I may or may not be its current owner....

[Phil - Nottingham]

My P2 was a mixture of biscuit tin and filler coated webbing - the sills were reinforced with shelving brackets though
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Phil

[lowdrag]

I guess my favourite is the Castrol E-type. A well-known botch when changing the clutch, which is normally an engine-out job, was to cut the transmission tunnel open to drop the gearbox that way. I came across this E-type coupé on the ramps in a garage, engine out, and one could clearly read Castrol on the inside of the tunnel. Someone had fashioned a new tunnel out of a 50 gallon oil drum.

[alfanut]

Some years ago, a friend at work, who you could normally set your watch by, came in late. He explained that he had braked sharply in traffic, but not sharply enough to avoid going partly under the truck in front in his immaculate newly acquired Cortina, although thankfully only the front wing went under. You can guess the rest - as he took the brakes off, the front of the car rose slightly, and as the truck unknowingly drove off it unpeeled his front wing in the same way as opening a tin of sardines, the task being made easier by the top of the front wing comprising of nothing but chicken wire and fibreglass

Geoff

[peter scott]

Here are couple I came across..

Problem with your splines? Get the welding torch out.


Short of a core plug? Cut a bit off the table leg.

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http://tinyurl.com/ssjaguar

[Jim.Walker]

Hmm. I wonder which might be the most dangerous? I think the Jowett Bradford tyres is a good starter! But here is another.

In the early days of MOT Tests I found, on a car I was testing, that a front brake hose had been "repaired" using the old ends, with new clear plastic tubing of the type often used for flexible fuel pipe. Jubilee Clips on the ends certainly made a fluid tight joint, because the whole thing blew up like a balloon when the brake pedal was pressed!
Never did the brake test!

Jim.
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Quote from my late Dad:- You only need a woman and a car and you have all the problems you
are ever likely to want". Computers had not been invented then!

[BigJohn]

I followed an MG Midget which seemed to have hard suspension on the right side when cornering. When I examined it the reason was the osr spring hanger mounting had rotted out, so the 'suspension' on the right rear was an oak block wired on top of the axle.

A Landrover 90 with a piece of aluminium folded over and beaten flat a few times until 'just' the right size to become a brake pad.

A mk 1 Escort van with the rear brake pipes cut, folded, and beaten flat, thus disconnecting the rear brakes, and only the osf brake worked.

John.

[riley541]

And I read in the classic motoring press last week that the government is considering exempting older vehicles from the MoT....

[lowdrag]

Here in France the MOT is every two years and for classiscs over 25 years is every five years.

[62rebel]

here we've been relieved of any safety inspection at ALL....

i reckon it's purpose is to allow the owners to let the vehicle succumb to the elements over time and perish of it's own neglect.

the end being, that the owner will then have to replace the written off pile with yet another....

ad nauseum infinitum.

i bought a Galaxie once and never bothered to check the brakes beforehand; started it up in the back yard, put it in gear and nearly took out the fence.... the seller had removed the brake shoes from the rear axle.
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nothing is ever so far gone as to be unsalvageable. see this bolt?.....

[Roger-hatchy]

When I lived in London there was a guy the other end of the Mews selling used cars.

He used to get old scrap cars and renovate ( use the term loosely).
One trick that sticks in mind was using news paper to plug rust holes in the bodywork and then cover with filler.

He also had an MOT testers certificate, wonder how many death traps he passed to sell on.

And as already stated, MOT's to be suspended on historic vehicles.

Only take one or two rouges to tarnish the whole classic scene, the media would have a heyday

[Rick]

When I put my 6-cyl Spit on the road, I didn't pay much attention to the carbs. That was until it conked out near the Cat & Fiddle. Peering under the carbs revealed that a previous owner had, instead of fitting new gaskets between the carbs and inlet manifold, simply bolted them on and used filler underneath to "seal" the join. As soon as the fillery bits fell away, it barely ran - cue another call to Mr A.A. van Driver.

ISTR the same car, when I bought it, had a very "DIY" wiring loom installed, built up from domestic solid-core cable, bent around the connections on the back of switches etc. With a battery connected, the display of sparks behind the dash was quite impressive.

RJ
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Rick (Admin. oldclassiccar.co.uk)
Various 1930s-1960s relics - Austin, Morris, Bedford, Dodge etc.