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| See Homepage. | This page: Glossary of popular motoring terms and phrases (sort of...) |
Motoring Glossary...!What follows is a slightly less-than-serious interpretation of what motoring terms and sayings really mean, so if you want to know your big end from your torque wrench, go no further - in fact, print this page off, you never know when you might need to explain a particularly obscure term next time you pop down the local pub for a swift beverage. All contributions of a similar vein welcomed, just drop me a line via the link on the homepage right here. |
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Accelerator pedal to increase forward momentum, or in the case of many prewar cars to wind up the volume level of the engine with little or no determinable effect on speed Air conditioning - term used to describe a fold down roof Air filter - this useful invention prevents flies and small animals from forming part of the Ottoman 4 stroke combustion process Alloy wheels - alternative method of keeping the car off the road surface, prone to being removed without prior consent during hours of darkness Anti Freeze - not when you take Aunty to the betting shop in your trailer on a winters day, but a substance which if added to the engine water gives it a fighting chance of survival in cold weather Armrest - designed for perching your half eaten sandwich and jam doughnut on at motorway services Back seat - see Bench seat Battery - saves your thumb from instant dislocation, see Starting handle Bench seat - early form of in-car entertainment (depending on your passenger of course) Big end - commonly thought to mean the end of the world, this is in fact an expensive and potentially noisy part of the combustion engine Brake pedal - method of signalling to your car that you'd like to arrest progress in the very near future Brake light - signals your intention to lessen the pace to those around you, no ETA for retardation given however Bumpers - accurately measure the amount of room you would have needed to the front and rear of your car when parking Bus - a large, usually empty, expanse of air clad in a simple aluminium cover with its own dedicated motorway lane Car polish - a substance which if vigorously applied to the coachwork will improve its longevity. Usually used once after the car is purchased, then never sees daylight again Caravan - attractive addition to the rear of your vehicle, bringing joy and toots of delight from passing motorists who clamour to follow religiously in your wake, as you negotiate country lanes Carburettor - regulates how much fuel to leak onto your driveway Carpet - instant repair, often glued down, designed to cover up a corroded floorpan Classic car - any car that has survived its 10 year birthday and has a group of masochistic followers who cannot see themselves in any other form of transportation Cruise control - allows you to concentrate on something other than the speed at which you are travelling, or rest your foot for a while Clutch pedal - somewhere to rest your foot when driving along, can quieten gear changing also
Country garage - a quaint charming establishment that has one petrol pump and is never open Cruise - originally this collective term described an informal group of old cars nuts cruising around in their chrome laden sleds, the term now having been hijacked by baseball cap-wearing oiks in their carbon fibre (lookalike)-clad Saxo VTRs doing burnouts in B&Qs car park Crumple zone - when you have to squeeze a holidays-worth of clothing into the back of a Lotus Elise Cyclists - see Motorcyclists (slightly slower) Diesel engine - specifically designed to stop you falling asleep at the wheel Dipstick - used only irregularly, for investigative purposes to confirm why your engine has seized Distributor cap - passes a high tension electrical pulse to your arm on demand Dogleg 'box - a confusing arrangement whereby ones ratios are not where you'd normally find them Domestic cooker - designed principally to bake paint onto a freshly painted suspension component, also has some negligible cooking uses (apparently) Door pockets - a reservoir installed to allow young children to bring up their food without unduly distracted the driver Driving License - a written confirmation that at one time you were a reasonable driver Driving gloves - designed to minimise surface contact with the steering wheel, to cut down on skin wear & tear Exhaust pipe - directs spent gases from the engine into your boot area First aid kit - the thing you wish you'd remembered to put in the garage immediately prior to picking up that hammer Fuel injection - a more accurate way of distributing fuel at higher pressure around your engine bay Gearbox - an intricate maze of cogs and selector fork, around which great suspicion lurks at the first hint of a metal-on-metal experience Grab handle - allows unwell passengers to hasten their exit from your vehicle Grease nipples - items that allow grease to be forced into moving joints on older cars, unlike the other kind, usually to be found in disreputable magazines Hands free phone - frees up your hands whilst driving, to permit you to concentrate on opening that can of Budweiser Handbook - book of instructions which shall remain firmly in the glove compartment until the cars disposal Handbrake - the thing that you wish you'd remembered to apply before parking uphill of that new Bentley Hard shoulder - a portion of the motorway where drivers of Austin Metros congregate on a daily basis and swap notes, suspension spheres etc etc :) Heated rear window - somewhere to warm your hands on a cold day when giving someone a push start HGV - a heavy goods vehicle, a machine with whom it is unwise to tangle or its driver displease Hide food - not as some think, a treatment for leather seats, but in fact the act of hiding boiled sweets from sticky fingered children during a long journey Horn - allows driver to alert occupants at the dwelling outside which they have parked of their arrival (use restricted to hours of darkness only) Hire car - Incorporates engine designed to run at maximum revs at all times Hubcaps - randomly detach themselves to visibly warn cars behind of a sharp bend approaching In car navigation - at one time this would be a passenger with a map, nowadays more often applies to small TV screens which allow you to focus on them as opposed to the busy road outside Indicators - a visible device to advise those around you of the turning you made 10 minutes ago Jump start - the process whereby one neglected vehicle is given the kiss of life by another running vehicle, or the involuntary movement made by an owner when a classic dragged out of a canal fires up for the first time in 35 years Kingpin - ask any Morris Minor driver! Layby - area to the side of highway specifically designated for sleepy truck drivers, and burger vans (meat of indeterminate origin) MOT - the annual opportunity for your precious car to be laughed at & derided by a collection of oily fingered garage mechanics Motorhome - essentially a van with all the benefits of caravan accomodation bolted on behind the cab to form a slightly unwieldy creation Motorway Services - home to the lesser spotted synthetic sandwich, Cola drink and RAC man trying to sell you breakdown cover Motorcyclists - a collective term for entities that move very quickly in a totally random and unpredictable manner MPVs - a term used to describe abnormally large machines bought by people with lots of children, in areas where television and other entertainment was rarely available Oil - forms a protective covering on your driveway, impervious to all known cleaning solutions Oversteer - describing the actions taken by someone who is very bad at parking Petrol - permanent cologne for your hands, not recommended for long term skin care however Petrol station - a permanent roadside fixture from where fuel and any number of useless domestic items can be bought. Motor spares are however rarely to be found on the premises Petrol tank - the Governments mobile tax collection point Piston slap - action performed when you snap a piston ring when trying to replace it Radiator - collects samples of passing flies for future inspection Radiator grille - designed to take chunks out of passing fingers during the weekly car wash Radio - provides aural entertainment whilst awaiting the arrival of a breakdown recovery truck, inaudible at all other times Rear view mirror - allows you to admire the retrim you did of the back seat, whilst on the move Repmobile - a car used by travelling sales people, all of which sport an ever increasing number of letters to their model name to mark out the success or otherwise that this person is having Reverse light - a visual warning to all passing cats & rodents of your intended route of passage Roadmap - explicitly defines the route you'd planned to take Roofrack - ideal way to dispose of your garden cuttings whilst on the pretence of driving it to the nearest municipal tip Rust - encouraged & freely donated to all motorists by the local councils road salting department Sandblasting - a process for efficiently distributing large quantities of expensive grit around the neighbourhood Satellite navigation - the act of opening your sunroof on a clear night and using the stars to guide you Seat - isolates your posterior from exterior undulations Seatbelt - restraining device, ideally must be applied in advance of any impending collision Speedometer - a rough approximation of how fast you would be travelling had you remembered to drop the car down off the axle stands Starting handle - DIY thumb breaking tool, designed to dislocate the thumb at both joints in a single deft swing of the handle Steering wheel - suggests direction changes to the front wheels via a series of cogs, cables, pieces of string and divine intervention Sump - collection point for destroyed engine components following a blow up Sunroof - admits sun when its sunny, and drips of water when its not Sunvisor - designed to minimise distraction from oncoming traffic lights Taxi - a vehicle of indeterminate origin and unbelievable mileage, usually beige or black, usually to be spied doing 3 point turns on busy A roads Tinted glass - lessens the requirement to look like Roy Orbison whilst hauling the wheel Torque wrench - to be used to lessen risk of being overtaken by errant roadwheels, and other such indignities that result from loose nuts Towbar - an effective deterrent against other drivers who are too close behind you Tyre - circular black device that softens the impact of bouncing up a kerb Unleaded fuel - often referred to as Liquid Gold (the carat depending on which country you're in at the time due to cost variations) Understeer - describes the actions of someone immediately leading up to their crash Warranty - 100% watertight guarantee that nothing will be replaced should it fail on your secondhand car purchase WD40 - a spray to be aimed in the approximate direction of a corroded nut, simultaneously waterproofing the surrounding area Wheelbrace - tool offering minimal leverage to prise off wheelnuts applied by tyre fitting companies using air powered guns Wheelnut - one of a number of small fittings designed to keep a particular corner of the car off the tarmac White Spirit - a marvellous invention, designed solely to speedily remove oily thumbprints from items of furniture or freshly decorated living rooms Windscreen - near vertical section of glass designed to keep flies out of your teeth Windscreen washers - add water to the mixture on your screen, forming a fly soup Windscreen wiper - an apparatus designed to glide over squashed bugs on your 'screen, smearing things and leaving a discernible residue Workshop manual - detailed instructions on how the mechanically disinclined can dismantle their pride and joy. Reassembly coverage is however sketchy |
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