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DELETED Guest
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:07 pm Post subject: Christmas Woes |
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buzzy bee
Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 3382 Location: South Cheshire
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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Hi
Now you really have upset me, as I won't get anything on my list!
No aircraft hangar, no new vintage car, no .......
Cheers
Dave |
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Rick Site Admin
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 22453 Location: UK
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47p2
Joined: 24 Nov 2007 Posts: 2009 Location: Glasgow
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:52 pm Post subject: |
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Rick wrote: | erindoors suggested today that we might break the habit of leaving a glass of port and a carrot out for Santa and Rudolf!! tsk tsk soon set 'er straight on that one
R |
Is that her laying down the ground rules already Rick?
You need to show her who is the boss.....or maybe not _________________ ROVER
One of Britain's Fine Cars |
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pigtin
Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 1879 Location: Herne Bay
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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Last year I did a "Spoof" agony column for a small motor club magazine...This offering may fit in with this thread:
Old Gudgeon’s Xmas agony column.
A letter from Mr S.Claus.
Salutations! to you my dear boy: I have a transport problem of gigantic proportions that I hope you can help me with. Being in the ‘Express Delivery Business’ and having a short, but impossibly onerous contract to fulfil just once a year, I am looking for an alternative to the rather antiquated form of transport that I seem to have been using since the dawn of time. My present vehicle, having no wheels, relies on the low friction coefficient of snow and ice when landing and taking off, and the advent of ‘global warming’ has made this a scarce commodity in some of my delivery areas. All the fellows that provide my motive force (I forget their names at the moment) are pretty cheesed off with it; especially the one with the unfortunate, and very noticeable, facial feature. I have visited all of the main motor dealers; but when I tell them of my requirements they just laugh and say ‘push off! granddad’ or use words that convey a similar sentiment. Do you have any suggestions?
Santa; don’t you think it’s time to ‘jack it in’. A chap of your age shouldn’t be working this hard. I know you don’t want to disappoint the children but it’s time their parents bought the presents instead. They could always lie to them and tell them Santa Claus delivered them through the chimney. And think of the price you would get from the butcher for the reindeer.
Sorry the cut-and-paste process has made it a bit disjointed.
Last edited by pigtin on Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:35 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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erindoors
Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 36
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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Alternatives I may leave out for Santa and Rudolf this year:
Used to leave:
1 home made mince pie
1 glass of Port
1 carrot
To be replaced with:
1 'Light - less than half the fat' sesame seed and thyme cracker
1 glass of pomegranate juice
1 carrot, I'll perhaps also leave a few celery sticks, broccoli and of course sprouts!
After all Santa needs to look after his figure otherwise he may not be able to fit in the Dodge, sorry, Sleigh!!!
He he
Santa's little helper (also knows as Erindoors) |
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Uncle Joe Guest
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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Its no problem for Santas deliveries....he has a new mode of transport this year....
Read the following:
Santa's been checkin', checkin' all around the world
Wants to know what's goin' on with every single boy & girl
Said, Great gosh almighty, much to my surprise
Nobody's been naughty, everybody's been nice
Santa likes to boogie, Santa likes to dance
Santa likes to rock it...likes to go real fast
Santa likes to ride in the boogie woogie choo choo train
Santa's got the elves workin', workin' overtime
He's doubled up production on the toy production line
He says there's too much stuff this year to carry in the sleigh
Got to get a better plan, got to find a better way
We got toys for the boys and girls all over the place
Got 'em stacked to the ceiling, got 'em stickin' in your face
He says that this year we're gonna take the boogie woogie choo choo train
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
We got toys for the boys and girls all over the place
Got 'em stacked to the ceiling, got 'em stickin' in your face
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
Rudolph says, wait a minute, what about me
Don't leave me sittin' all alone at home on Christmas Eve
Santa said no way man, we gotta have your nose
To show us all the way, to show us where to go
We got Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen
We all goin' ridin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
We got toys for the boys and girls all over the place
Got 'em stacked to the ceiling, got 'em stickin' in your face
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train |
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Rick Site Admin
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 22453 Location: UK
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Job-Rated
Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 1010 Location: Sugarbeet County
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa! _________________ Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!
http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/ |
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Rick Site Admin
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 22453 Location: UK
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pigtin
Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 1879 Location: Herne Bay
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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Santa should be happy with a few of those. Your stocking will be bursting with motoring goodies... |
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buzzy bee
Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 3382 Location: South Cheshire
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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Hi
They do look tasty.
What is the small pastry minature at the front?
Xmas inspired plate too!
Cheers
Dave |
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Rick Site Admin
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 22453 Location: UK
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erindoors
Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 36
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe we could leave Father Christmas the little dinosaur then?
I doubt we'll have any Mince Pies left to leave for Father Christmas by then at the rate they are disappearing!!!!
Erindoors |
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Rick Site Admin
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 22453 Location: UK
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