Classic cars forum & vehicle restoration.

52classic · Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 493 Location: Cardiff.

FOR SALE

Full set of good quality mechanic's tools and overalls.

Contact: Sally Webster, Coronation Street, Weatherfield.

clan chieftain · Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 2041 Location: Motherwell

Rose are red, Violets are glorious.
Dont mess around with Oscar Pistorious.
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The Clan Chieftain

PAUL BEAUMONT · Joined: 27 Nov 2007 Posts: 1281 Location: Barnsley S. Yorks

Latest food scandal:
A well known supermarket's exotic fresh salad has been found to contain horse raddish DNA!

peter scott · Joined: 18 Dec 2007 Posts: 7219 Location: Edinburgh

Penman · Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 4880 Location: Swindon, Wilts.

Hi
Fish Fingers have now been found to contain SeaHorse.
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Bristols should always come in pairs.

Any 2 from:-
Straight 6
V8 V10

47Jag · Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 12:35 pm Post subject:

These just in from Australia:-

She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

Absolutely shocking news from South Africa.
White man arrested for murder.

Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed.

Surely Oscar Pistorious can’t be the first man to wake up legless on Valentine’s day and shoot all over the missus while imagining she's someone else!

I take it Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend bought him shoes for Valentines.

What do you call a room full of dead people?
An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party.

Oscar Pistorius has an incredible record of wins to his name.
Six gold medals, four silver medals and one argument.

A young woman is dead, the life of up‑and‑coming athlete, Oscar Pistorious, is ruined, and people are already making jokes about it. That's prosthetic... I mean pathetic.

I think it's safe to say that Oscar Pistorius won't be getting his leg over tonight.

And the Oscar goes to...Prison!

Art

Jim.Walker · Joined: 27 Dec 2008 Posts: 1229 Location: Chesterfield

I am afraid that if I was a member of his Partners Family, I would be looking for someone in Australia to shoot!!!!
Jim.
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Quote from my late Dad:- You only need a woman and a car and you have all the problems you
are ever likely to want". Computers had not been invented then!

47Jag · Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 1:28 am Post subject:

STILL HAVING A BIT OF TROUBLE AFTER EATING ONE OF THE TESCO'S BURGERS CONTAINING HORSEMEAT.
MY CONDITION IS NOW STABLE, I HAVE HAD THE TROTS BUT AFTER OVERCOMING A FEW HURDLES, I'M ODDS ON TO MAKE A FULL RECOVERY ALTHOUGH THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS A BIT LIKE CLOSING THE STABLE DOOR AFTER THE HORSE HAS BOLTED!

IF YOU'VE BEEN PUT OFF TESCO'S BURGERS, TRY THEIR MEAT
BALLS!......THEY'RE THE DOGS BO****KS!

TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT A TESCO BURGER?..........THAT IS EQUESTRIAN.

IF YOU THINK TESCO'S HORSE BURGERS ARE BAD, YOU SHOULD TRY THEIR
QUARTER PANDAS.

TESCO ARE GIVING TREBLE POINTS ON YOUR CLUB CARD FOR ALL BURGERS AND PETROL, STARTING MONDAY. THE DEAL IS CALLED - ONLY FUELS AND HORSES.

IN RESPONSE TO THE REVELATION ABOUT HORSE MEAT IN TESCO BURGERS, THEY HAVE RELEASE A STATEMENT STATING THAT THEY ALSO CATER FOR VEGETARIANS… THEY SAID " WE ARE ALSO PUTTING UNIQUORN IN THE VEGGIE BURGERS"

WENT TO THE FREEZER TO CHECK MY TESCO BURGERS AND....THEY'RE OFF...

IT TURNS OUT THAT THE HORSES WERE MOLESTED BEFORE THEY WERE TURNED INTO BURGERS...THE POLICE ARE ASKING ANYONE WHO KNEW JIMMY SADDLE TO COME FORWARD.

NEVER EATING ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE TESCO BURGERS. BLOODY THINGS GAVE ME THE TROTS...HOPEFULLY IT WON'T LAST FURLONG!

THOSE TESCO HORSE BURGERS WERE NICE, BUT I PREFER MY LIDL PONY.

I BOUGHT A BURGER AT TESCO'S CAFE, THE WAITRESS SAID "WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING ON IT?" I REPLIED " A FIVER EACH WAY ".

I'VE HAD IT TOUGH LATELY WORKING ON THE MEAT COUNTER AT
TESCO'S.......IT FEELS LIKE I'M FLOGGING A DEAD HORSE!

Tesco say they're out of stock on Burgers but they've got a fresh
delivery coming in at 10 to 1.

HMV VOUCHERS NOW BEING ACCEPTED AT TESCO. JUST TELL THEM HMV STANDS FOR HORSE MEAT VOUCHER.

Jim.Walker · Joined: 27 Dec 2008 Posts: 1229 Location: Chesterfield

I make that Tesco 13, Lidl 1, and every other company got away with it!
Particularly the companies who supply virtually all the major supermarkets.
Probably the supermarkets' own fault for selling bought-in goods under their own name. Time for that to be banished?
Jim.
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Quote from my late Dad:- You only need a woman and a car and you have all the problems you
are ever likely to want". Computers had not been invented then!

Bitumen Boy · Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 12:59 am Post subject:

I think the real problem is this habit the big chains have of trucking stuff all over Europe (and indeed the rest of the world) as they try to save tuppence per thousand units. You have to wonder if it really is cheaper after the transport costs and the cuts taken by the various middlemen, but maybe it really has more to do with brown envelopes and funny handshakes... Rolling Eyes

clan chieftain · Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 2041 Location: Motherwell

Watch you dont break a leg after eating horse burgers or you will be shot.
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The Clan Chieftain

clan chieftain · Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 2041 Location: Motherwell

Did you hear about the man who got his shoes out of his wifes catalogue?

He had a club foot. Laughing

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The Clan Chieftain

Roger-hatchy · Joined: 07 Dec 2007 Posts: 2135 Location: Tiptree, Essex

OK own up who's been there, done that Laughing

http://www.snotr.com/video/8965/

PAUL BEAUMONT · Joined: 27 Nov 2007 Posts: 1281 Location: Barnsley S. Yorks

I agree with the concept that hidden manufacturers should be declared on product labels. I can see no reason why products labelled as 'produced in France for XXX' should not read 'produced in France by ABC for XXX'

BTW I have checked and doubled checked and I can find absolutely no Rat in Sainsbury's Ratatouille!

Paul