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Christmas Woes
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:07 pm    Post subject: Christmas Woes Reply with quote

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buzzy bee



Joined: 23 Nov 2007
Posts: 3397
Location: South Cheshire

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi

Now you really have upset me, as I won't get anything on my list!

No aircraft hangar, no new vintage car, no ....... Crying or Very sad

Wink

Cheers

Dave
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Rick
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

erindoors suggested today that we might break the habit of leaving a glass of port and a carrot out for Santa and Rudolf!! tsk tsk soon set 'er straight on that one Wink

R
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Various 1920s-1960s - Austin, Morris, Commer, Dodge etc.
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47p2



Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 2002
Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rick wrote:
erindoors suggested today that we might break the habit of leaving a glass of port and a carrot out for Santa and Rudolf!! tsk tsk soon set 'er straight on that one Wink

R


Is that her laying down the ground rules already Rick?

You need to show her who is the boss.....or maybe not Crying or Very sad
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pigtin



Joined: 23 Nov 2007
Posts: 1882
Location: Herne Bay

PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 12:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last year I did a "Spoof" agony column for a small motor club magazine...This offering may fit in with this thread:

Old Gudgeon’s Xmas agony column.
A letter from Mr S.Claus.

Salutations! to you my dear boy: I have a transport problem of gigantic proportions that I hope you can help me with. Being in the ‘Express Delivery Business’ and having a short, but impossibly onerous contract to fulfil just once a year, I am looking for an alternative to the rather antiquated form of transport that I seem to have been using since the dawn of time. My present vehicle, having no wheels, relies on the low friction coefficient of snow and ice when landing and taking off, and the advent of ‘global warming’ has made this a scarce commodity in some of my delivery areas. All the fellows that provide my motive force (I forget their names at the moment) are pretty cheesed off with it; especially the one with the unfortunate, and very noticeable, facial feature. I have visited all of the main motor dealers; but when I tell them of my requirements they just laugh and say ‘push off! granddad’ or use words that convey a similar sentiment. Do you have any suggestions?

Santa; don’t you think it’s time to ‘jack it in’. A chap of your age shouldn’t be working this hard. I know you don’t want to disappoint the children but it’s time their parents bought the presents instead. They could always lie to them and tell them Santa Claus delivered them through the chimney. And think of the price you would get from the butcher for the reindeer.

Sorry the cut-and-paste process has made it a bit disjointed.


Last edited by pigtin on Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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erindoors



Joined: 30 Nov 2007
Posts: 36

PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alternatives I may leave out for Santa and Rudolf this year:

Used to leave:
1 home made mince pie
1 glass of Port
1 carrot

To be replaced with:
1 'Light - less than half the fat' sesame seed and thyme cracker Shocked
1 glass of pomegranate juice Shocked
1 carrot, I'll perhaps also leave a few celery sticks, broccoli and of course sprouts! Shocked

After all Santa needs to look after his figure otherwise he may not be able to fit in the Dodge, sorry, Sleigh!!!

He he Very Happy

Santa's little helper (also knows as Erindoors)
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Uncle Joe
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its no problem for Santas deliveries....he has a new mode of transport this year....

Read the following:

Santa's been checkin', checkin' all around the world
Wants to know what's goin' on with every single boy & girl
Said, Great gosh almighty, much to my surprise
Nobody's been naughty, everybody's been nice
Santa likes to boogie, Santa likes to dance
Santa likes to rock it...likes to go real fast
Santa likes to ride in the boogie woogie choo choo train

Santa's got the elves workin', workin' overtime
He's doubled up production on the toy production line
He says there's too much stuff this year to carry in the sleigh
Got to get a better plan, got to find a better way
We got toys for the boys and girls all over the place
Got 'em stacked to the ceiling, got 'em stickin' in your face
He says that this year we're gonna take the boogie woogie choo choo train

Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
We got toys for the boys and girls all over the place
Got 'em stacked to the ceiling, got 'em stickin' in your face
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train

Rudolph says, wait a minute, what about me
Don't leave me sittin' all alone at home on Christmas Eve
Santa said no way man, we gotta have your nose
To show us all the way, to show us where to go
We got Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen
We all goin' ridin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train

Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin'
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
We got toys for the boys and girls all over the place
Got 'em stacked to the ceiling, got 'em stickin' in your face
Santa Claus is comin' in a boogie woogie choo choo train
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Rick
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doesn't sound like Father Xmas will be calling here this year then Sad

R
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Job-Rated



Joined: 23 Nov 2007
Posts: 1027
Location: Sugarbeet County

PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa!
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Rick
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Christmas is officially back on the agenda, with the 2nd successful home-made batch of mince pies taken from the production line, and being subjected to rigorous testing as I type..early issues with excess leakage have been traced to pie cutters being slightly out of true



R
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pigtin



Joined: 23 Nov 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Santa should be happy with a few of those. Your stocking will be bursting with motoring goodies...
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buzzy bee



Joined: 23 Nov 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi

They do look tasty.

What is the small pastry minature at the front?

Xmas inspired plate too!

Cheers

Dave
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Rick
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats the customary dinosaur, made from excess pastry! can't you tell????

R
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erindoors



Joined: 30 Nov 2007
Posts: 36

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe we could leave Father Christmas the little dinosaur then?

I doubt we'll have any Mince Pies left to leave for Father Christmas by then at the rate they are disappearing!!!! Shocked


Very Happy Erindoors
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Rick
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah you've been getting through them a bit Wink

R
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