Classic cars forum & vehicle restoration.

[Rick]

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it, from Rick & Erindoors


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Rick - Admin
Home:https://www.oldclassiccar.co.uk
Videos:https://www.youtube.com/user/oldclassiccarRJ/videos
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[Job-Rated]

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!
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Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!


http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/

[pigtin]

Seasons greetings to all. From Don and the Memsahib.

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t103/donthebat/xmas10.jpg

[Old-Nail]

[Job-Rated]

Found this & thought I'd share...



'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.

Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "some assembly required".

The children were quiet, asleep in their beds,
While Mum and I faced the evening with dread.

A kitchen, 2 bikes, Barbie's town house to boot,
And thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat,
Let no parts be missing or toys incomplete.

Too late for last minute returns or replacement,
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to worrying eyes should appear,
But sheets of directions, concise but not clear.

With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than Harleys, the parts did fall out,
All over the carpet they scattered about.

Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Count up to ten & say a quick prayer.

Hammer & screw but don't get it jammed,
"Honey" said wifey "You just glued my hand!"

And then in a twinkling I knew for a fact,
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact!

To keep parents busy all Christmas night,
With assembly required 'til mornings first light.

We spoke not a word but kept bent to our work,
'Til our eyes they went bleary & our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night it wore thin,
Before we attached the last rod and pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We knew we had earned a well deserved rest.

But I said to my wife just before we passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt".

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing.

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set,
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet.

We headed for dreamland and so off to bed,
Too tired to think what our parents had said,

Though there's something to say for those self-deluded....

We'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!!!!!!
_________________
Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!


http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/

[Scotty]

Merry Christmas from chilly Scotland - Brrrrrrrrrr!



Scotty.

[Uncle Joe]

And a Merry Christmas to all from me also...

I wonder how many of us have been good this past year?

[Brian M]

To Everyone

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to all of you, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.

So I met with my solicitor last week, and on his advice we came to the following acceptable seasonal greeting:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday.

Be it practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008. But not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Great Britain is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of these wishes.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
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Brian
1970 Volvo Amazon and 1978 Safari 15-4 Caravan
Classic Safari Forum: www.classicsafaris.co.uk

[pigtin]

I wonder how many of us have been good this past year?[/quote]

Ah! many of you may scoff: but Santa KNOWS who's been good and who hasn't...

[Job-Rated]

http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf
_________________
Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!


http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/

[Job-Rated]

Friendship contract renewed for 2008


To everyone at Old Classic Car..

2008 Contract

After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2008! It was a very hard decision to make, so try not to screw it up!!!


My Wish for You in 2008....


May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts….



May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of £20 notes…



May love stick to your skin like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips….



May your clothes smell of success like smoking tyres.



May your tears be that of joy



and may happiness slap you across the face.



May the problems you had in 2007 forget your home address!



In simple words, may 2008 be the best year of your life!!!



If you wish to renew your friendship, send this to every one you wish to do so!



Happy Holidays!
_________________
Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!


http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/

[Uncle Joe]

I thought that I would share this with you all, especially the older ones on the forum. Apologies to those from foreign parts (south of the Mersey! ) that might have difficulty in understanding the language!

A Seasonal Request

Now I've tried all the normal approaches
All the pick-ups an' chat-ups an' stuff
Tried mi ‘and at so-phistication
Wi' some girls who were nowt, if not rough
I've been seen down the discos an' dances
Bought cocktails for them as ‘were broke
In mi quest for the perfect companion
Who'd see me as ‘er perfect bloke
I've dealt with the best datin' agents
I've filled in their forms an' told lies
About how I'm just like a male model
Wi' tight buttocks an' sparklin' blue eyes
I've squandered mi wages on chatlines
Spent two quid a minute on 'phone
Where I've ended up gaggin' for Charleen
Even though she weighs thirty-two stone
I've frequented bars down dockside
Where there's ladies that's best left alone
An' I've offered mi body quite freely
But I've allus walked home on mi own
So just cos it's comin' up Christmas
An' I've no soddin' prospects in store
I'm wazzin' this e-mail to Lapland dot com
An' I'm hopin' that this time I'll score
Dear Santa, please bring me a woman
Fer some fun in mi fifty-third year
Let's forget all the monogrammed hankies
All the socks an' the chocs an' the beer
You could leave me a fun-lovin' floozie
Or a perfectly sweet English rose
An' what could be quite stonkin' is a lass who loves bonkin'
Now I really would like one o' those
Please bring a voluptuous woman
A partner, a pal an' a mate
I can take for a romp in the boudoir
Wi'out havin' the need to inflate
Perhaps I should spare you the detail
But a session's got nowt to enthral
When your off up to bed wi' a bike pump
An' a puncture repair kit an' all






Please bring me a home-lovin' woman
Cos I've brushed-up mi cookin' technique
No Spam, egg an' chips like mi mam does
But dishes that's sexy an' chic
We'll have seafood an' hot, sticky puddin'
Drink wine 'til we're Mozart an' Liszt
Then I'll make several filthy suggestions
Till she finds one she just can't resist
Please bring me an underwear woman
A lingerie kind of a dame
Who loves to wear silky suspenders
An' doesn't mind me doin' t' same
We can twang at each others elastics
Then I'll climb up the cupboards (top shelf)
Where I'll fling off mi big, baggy Y-Fronts
An' dive in, like the Devil himself
Please bring me a kind, carin' woman
Cos I know I've gone well past mi prime
But I'm sure I can still do the business
If I just take mi tablets on time
I won't pester no more, that's a promise
You won't hear me again, not one squeak
So Santa, please bring me a woman
An' a fresh one each night of the week

[Job-Rated]

That's great!
_________________
Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!


http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/

[Uncle Joe]

Incidentally J_r, we have sugar beets here... slippy little things arent they?

[Job-Rated]

My teacher cooked one at school once (many years ago) & it wasn't bad. I don't think it'd compliment any other veg on the plate, though! lol
_________________
Don't run your fingers over my truck & I won't run my truck over your fingers!


http://www.loosechange-band.co.uk/