Classic cars forum & vehicle restoration.

[D4B]

Following on from Tony's quote from his Fiat 500 bible:

"Air conditioning in the car interior is obtained by suitably adjusting swivel ventilator panels on doors. Moreover, when door drop glasses are cranked part way or all the way down, admission of outside air is increased to a remarkable extent, affording better ventilation in the car interior".

Any others out there I wonder?

[peter scott]

One from the MG SA repair manual..

"Owing to the fact that the total number of links in the timing chain is a prime number, the engine must be turned fifty-eight times before the links and marked teeth come back to this position again."
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https://www.nostalgiatech.co.uk
1939 SS Jaguar 2 1/2 litre saloon

[Ashley]

I had a Ducati 750GT many years ago and I still remember the Brake light switch: "it is a new type of switch with unfailing operation. It is worked by the rear brake and sheath wire inserting it intermittently".

[baconsdozen]

From my old handbook for the CB72 motorcycle. "Riding with the choke out will cause staining of the sky".
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Thirty years selling imperial hand tools for old machinery(Now happily retired).

[Jim.Walker]

Not from a classic car manual, but a classic piece of Japanese/English from a manual handed to me by a student with an ignition fault on his motorbike. The section started thus................
"If indeed the engine is missing the fire...................."
Jim.

By the way, I love yours BaconsDozen!
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Quote from my late Dad:- You only need a woman and a car and you have all the problems you
are ever likely to want". Computers had not been invented then!

[swampy]

Well here is my contribution (brings a smile to my face anyway)
From the "Handbook of Instructions for the Jensen Interceptor"

"The driver who wishes occasionally to indulge in a very fast get-away will obtain the maximum acceleration by allowing the automatic gearbox to make full throttle changes throughout the speed range"

This little bit of gentlemanly understatement is followed by the section on kick-down:

"In an emergency or when a sudden surge forward is desired, the kick-down feature allows the driver to change down while obtaining maximum engine speed, and without removing his hands from the wheel, by depressing the accelerator pedal to the floor."

This is all good advice and great fun - especially holding the steering wheel with both hands whilst flooring it

Hope it makes someone else smile.

[Rosco663]

Excerpt from Series II Morris 8 manual.

"General Hints on Driving

Filling up

(I) Petrol

Before starting out for a run always make a point of seeing that the tank contains sufficient petrol............"

I tried, a couple of times, to impress this on my son in his novice driving years. After the inevitable 'rescue missions'

Cheers
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Rosco

[Rick]

From the Austin 7 box saloon handbook:

"The Austin Seven is particularly suitable for the woman driver. It requires little physical effort to drive and control, and for that reason its use enables her to do shopping calls without fatigue, visit her friends, attend social and other functions, or make excursions or trips in any direction in any weather."

RJ
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Rick - Admin
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[baconsdozen]

I can't remember which car it was but one model used to have "Press firmly" on the starter button as (so it was said) drivers were a bit wary of the new fangled electric starters.
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Thirty years selling imperial hand tools for old machinery(Now happily retired).

[Rosco663]

[Ashley]

[Keith D]

Good one Ashley!

Over here it's the Japanese as well as the Germans 4 x 4's on the school run! You gotta wonder who won the dammed war!

Keith