Classic cars forum & vehicle restoration.

[Fatbloke]

Last night, I was driving out of London having dropped my daughter off at her Uni digs after a weekend at home and it reminded me that 26 years ago, I was regularly making the same Sunday night trip after spending the weekend with the future Mrs FB in the nurse’s home at Kings College Hospital.

I started to wax lyrical in my head about how things have changed in this time and indeed how they haven’t. I thought I would share these thought with you.

1989
I’m 21, fit and handsome.
2014
I’m 46, fat and balding.

1989
The theme tune at the end of All Creatures Great and Small signifies that it is 8 o’clock and time for me to leave the future Mrs FB until the next weekend.
2014
The theme tune to Big Bang Theory is playing which signifies nothing as it seems to be on one channel or another 24/7, but it is 8 o’clock and time to leave my daughter until her washing pile reaches epic proportions or the need for home cooked food reminds her that we exist and we get the phone call to book the taxi. (Me).

1989
Wrap up in hat gloves and coat knowing that the asthmatic heater in my 1978 Morris Marina 1.3 delux won’t push out anything approaching luke warm air until Newbury.
2014
Wonder whether to set the climate control to a refreshing 19 deg or a balmy 22 in my 2012 Honda Civic 2.2CDi SE

1989
Fumble about under the dim glow of a street lamp to check my oil, water and dashpot levels are all correct.
2014
Turn on the ignition and wait for the car to tell me if my oil, water or tyre pressures need any attention.

1989
Start the engine and push the TDK D90 cassette that has Queens greatest hits on it into the aftermarket tape deck with the built in but pointless 8 channel graphic equaliser. (It looked really cool though)
2014
Start the engine and plug my USB stick that has the entire Queen back catalogue among others on it into the USB slot fitted as standard.

1989
10 minutes after leaving, it starts to rain. I switch on my wipers and watch them skip and crawl across the screen and wonder if those plastic wind vanes I’ve fitted to the wiper arms serve any other purpose than to look super cool! I also try to position my right leg to avoid the drips from the leaky windscreen seal.
2014
10 minutes after leaving, it starts to rain. Wipers automatically sense the rain and sweep majestically over the screen.

1989
Engine dies while waiting at the traffic lights. Pop the bonnet, jump out and chase the water out of the HT leads with a can of wd40.
2014
Engine dies at the traffic lights. After a moment of panic, I remember it’s just the auto stop start fuel saving system.

1989.
Windscreen is so misted up now that I can’t see so grab the sodden chamois pad and wipe the windscreen. Repeat at regular intervals until home.
2014
Notice that windscreen is starting to mist up slightly. Press the demist button. 10 seconds later, the screen is completely clear, my eyebrows are pointing north and my eyeballs have dried out so kill the demist and wonder why I still carry the chamois pad. (Why do eyebrows suddenly forget when to stop growing when you get to 45??)

1989.
Join the M4 and remind myself not to drive at over 55mph or the engine will squirt out all its oil before I get home.
2014.
Join the M4 and can’t drive at more than 55mph because of the traffic and road works. Set cruise control at 55 so I won’t get done by the average speed cameras.

1989
As I drive past Heston services I decide a coffee might be nice so balance the thermos cup on my knee and pour the coffee into the cup and into my lap. Exclaim at the sudden temperature change “down there” and resign myself to driving the rest of the way home with the feeling that I’ve wet myself.
2014
Lift my thermally insulated cup from the centre consul and have another sip. Switch off the heated seat as it makes me feel as though I’ve wet myself.

1989
At Slough now and need a ciggy. Remove gloves and fumble around coat pocket and seats looking for my JPS and matches. Open matches upside down in the dark and empty them into the foot well. Scrabble around between my feet looking for a dry match that hasn’t fallen in the mixture of spilt coffee and rainwater slopping about in the foot well.
2014
Have a few puffs on my e-Cig.

1989
I thank the gods that I have reached J16 of M4 and am nearly home. I try to prize my frozen fingers from the steering wheel ready to manoeuvre round the junctions.
2014.
Slightly surprised to have reached J16 already, I voice activate my hands free mobile phone to dial Mrs FB and let her know I’m nearly home.

1989
With vast relief that I’ve made it, I pull up outside my cold and empty 2 bed terraced and stagger with a stiff back and legs into my house to make a brew and thaw out.
2014
Pull up outside my warm and cosy family home and walk in to be welcomed by the loving Mrs FB and youngest daughter bearing a glass of Merlot and bread and cheese for my tea.

My conclusion then? Wasn’t every drive back then an adventure?
_________________
Mike,

A Fatbloke in a Herald.

[Keith D]

Very good, Mike!!!

Keith

[emmerson]

Nice one! Been there, done that.

[ukdave2002]

Liked that

I used to do a run in the 80's for similar reason from Bristol to Chester in an old Austin 1300 so you post put a smile on my face.

Dave

[websnail]

Like it.

In my case, working out in advance where the hills are and when to 'floor it' and build up to warp speed (or as much noise, rattles or burning smells as you could bare) just to push my Viva HB Estate over the south downs.

To-day, what hills?

[goneps]

Brought back memories of the trip I did virtually every weekend in the late 'sixties between Caterham and Cheltenham to see my girlfriend. 125 miles each way, and must have clocked up at least 10,000 miles on the BMW R60 'bike. One particularly bitter Sunday night brought me to my senses when I found on entering Cricklade that I'd been barrelling along the straight A419 from Cirencester at 70mph on sheet ice. Having negotiated the nasty little hump-backed bridge in Swindon mostly sideways I gave up and took accommodation for the night in some doss-house for the down and out that was fairly disgusting but had the advantage of being right on the main road. Finally reached home late morning on the Monday after battling snow, slush, and ice. Thereafter used the good old Herald when such conditions were likely—somewhat slower but a lot warmer and less nerve-wracking.

Richard

[Peter_L]

Excellent post Mike.

In the late 60's I would make regular weekend trips back and forth from Yorkshire to the Midlands and in the 70's to and from London.

Each journey was an adventure and the regular surprises were so regular that they no longer came as a surprise.