Classic cars forum & vehicle restoration.

[Ellis]

Well, I am open enough to admit on here that I have - many things over the years - but the example I'm about to give is either the height or depths of stupidity depending on your point of view.

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The above is a photo of my first van - a 1968 Escort 1100cc which I bought from it's one lady owner in December 1983 - 30k from new and had never been used commercially.

I used it for some weeks after purchase, delighted with it, until one morning the battery had gone flat. If you have a look at the (painted) front bumper you will see a starting handle hole - the early Escorts had them.
The only car I had started with a starting handle was a Renault 4 my mother owned briefly in 1971 and that was only for the experience of doing it.

Full of confidence and looking forward to re-establishing my prowess I dug out the pristine and unused starting handle from the tool bag and carefully inserted it into the starting handle hole.
Slowly and carefully I pushed it further in and met a little resistance and then some more.

With the strength of youth I have the handle a good, strong push, heard a crunch and then a bang as the handle hit the crankcase - followed the sound of escaping coolant.

Yes, I'd stuffed the handle straight through the radiator!

If I'd only had read the service receipts I'd have seen that a new radiator had been fitted a couple of years previously and because the original type with a starting handle tube was "NLA", a newer and solid bottom chamber one had been substituted.

The word in 1983 was "Wally", in 2012 it's "D***head" and I didn't tell anyone for a long, long time. [/img]
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Starting Handle Expert

1964 Jaguar Mark 2 3.4 litre
1962 Land Rover Series 2a 88"
2002 BMW M3 E46 Cabriolet

[poodge]

I had a VW kombi,and couldn't find a high enough jack to change a wheel.So i used some old house bricks.Big mistake!Once my scissor jack took the full weight,the bricks crumbled like snow flakes. It thumped down hard on the brake drum,but luckily did no damage,other than to my pride.I found some 4x2's instead,and made sure they were in good condition,before jacking the van up bit by bit,and placing the wood under the suspension.
If I had had the sense to put the jack under the radius arm in the first place,there would have been no drama.
Lesson learned the hard way

[baconsdozen]

Many many moons ago I put a scrapyard rover up on a load of old wheels and grovelled about under it removing the engine and box.
I was right underneath when it moved and I crawled out as fast as I could.
The car came down and almost got me,it had no wheels on and the front brake drum came down close enough to break the chain on a St Christopher I wore round me neck.
I've had a very healthy respect for jacked up cars ever since.
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Thirty years selling imperial hand tools for old machinery(Now happily retired).

[Ellis]

[Roger-hatchy]

Owned a Ford Anglia van once.

Ref. Toppling of a jack, A Friend had a Renault Dauphin, he was under neath when the jack slipped and he was pinned under the car. They say Adrenalin sets in to give a person super strength, I grabbed the wheel arch and lifted the car and someone else dragged him out from underneath, he was lucky to escape with just a few bruises.

I still have a black finger nail from a slipped scaffold pole,
Was removing the rear hubs on a Beetle, if memory serves about 240 ft/lb.
Just put my weight on the pipe when the socket slipped off the nut, my full, jumped. weight on the bar with my fingers wrapped around it.
Bought a tear to my eye, a dizzy spell and a tightening of different types of nuts.
Alway use an axle stand under the bar since then

[colwyn500]

I want to divert this thread from such frightening incidents. Mine was when I was much younger and very confident with working on pre-war cars but had rarely worked on a (then) modern. My partner had bought a bright yellow Renault 15; against my much better judgement. It needed brake discs fitting. I made this very difficult by thinking the drive shafts had to come off. I tried to do this by pushing the shaft inwards with a hub-puller aginst the shaft and behind the discs. I didn't detach any ball-joints so it was basically impossible to move anything. that didn't stop me struggling with oily, bruised hands for three days as I got more and more cross with the world. Strange thing was, eventually I got to really like that car.

[baconsdozen]

I once dropped in on a bloke I knew who happened to be welding a jag. He decided he'd had enough of welding and getting sprayed with hot metal for a while and leaving the car on the ramps we went in his office for a cuppa.
After a few minutes I mentioned that I thought the jag had been spoilt a bit by the tinted windows.
Trouble is,it didn't have any,it was on fire inside.
The water to put it out did more damage than the fire but it could have been so much worse.Someone told me that not long afterwards he fitted a new prop UJ to a car on the ramp,turning the prop a few times to get at the bolts he rolled the back end of the car clean off the ramp but its fall was cushioned by the boot of a customers Corsair.
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Thirty years selling imperial hand tools for old machinery(Now happily retired).

[peter scott]

Back in the '70s when I was running my Sunbeam Alpine it developed a tinkly rattle that appeared to come from the bell housing. It sounded like a broken finger off the clutch diaphram spring so I took the engine out and replaced the clutch only to discover that my diagnosis was wrong!

Sure enough when I started her up after the job the rattle was still there. Further investigation identified it as a loose separator plate in the Y piece of the exhaust system where the down pipes came together just next to the bell housing.

Doh!

Peter
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https://www.nostalgiatech.co.uk
1939 SS Jaguar 2 1/2 litre saloon

[Peter_L]

Because it is many many years ago, in fact even longer than that.

I had a ? van complete with comfort flooring and over-riders on the front bumper.

Returning from a liason, it was customary to turn off the lights and turn into a farm entrance. This enabled my co-conspirator ( it takes two to tango) to alight from the vehicle and walk the short distance home.

Only, on this one night, old Farmer Giles had closed the gate. The over-riders engaged perfectly behind one of the horizontal bars of the gate.

I escaped with both my life, obviously, and lived to another day/night, with the front of the vehicle intact-ish.

How did I get the vehicle off the gate ? (answers on a postcard, or here)

[Bitumen Boy]

Lift the gate off its hinges? I'm assuming the front of the van rose when relieved of the weight of your companion, I've had similar problems with doors and high kerbs...

[Peter_L]

[Greg]

Saturday just gone I took my 'modern' a Volvo 850, to the workshop to do some mot work.
Jacked front end up, placed axle stands under....then thought 'I haven't taken the ends of any of my fingers off for a while,....perhaps it's time to have another try!

Yep....quite successful....work on car abandoned, instead thought it a good idea to spend most of the day in the small injury department

How silly do I feel

[BigJohn]

One of my many 'Homer Simpson' moments was when I was working under a Mk1 Granada Ghia, I had a full beard at the time, remember when underseal was thick, black and rubbery, and inflammable? I do. A burning piece dropped into my beard and set in on fire. Apparantly the sight of me running down the garden, beating my face, and then sticking it under the garden tap, nearly caused my wife to crack a rib laughing.

[JonV2]

My moment of stupidity involved my Holden VK 308. I had taken the engine out, deciding to 'dress up' the bay and engine with lashings of chrome and black spray paint (hey, I was young!) The motor was heavily modified and was prone to overheating so I bought some exhaust thermal wrap and happily wrapped the extractors until they looked like an egyptian mummy.
With the engine back in the bay I poured new oil in; being careful not to spill on my new chrome rocker covers. If only I had bothered to put the EGR valve that fits in the rear of the rocker cover. A lot of the oil travelled along the top of the head, and out of the EGR hole; soaking nicely into the thermal wrap. This happened at the rear of the engine; out of sight.

Starting the car I noticed some oily smoke from the bay. Thinking this would soon burn off I didn't worry. The smoke only got thicker and then flames burst out.
Luckily I had an extinguisher handy, but once the flames were gone my beautiful engine bay was a blackened, powdery mess!

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Jon
1950 MkV Jaguar Saloon (On the Road)
1968 MGB
1959 XK150

[PAUL BEAUMONT]

Does buying a Fiat Punto count???